Practical Aspects of Parenting Conflicts: Preparing parents for litigation

In 1982, the Shared Parental Responsibility Act became law in Florida. This law changed the way parents share time with their children. Instead of one parent having all the say, both parents now have rights and responsibilities to parent their children. This law is meant to be in the best interest of the child. Divorce is a really tough experience for everyone involved, including the kids. It’s even more stressful than things like losing a job or getting sick. It can really mess with people’s emotions and cause a lot of problems. It’s important for parents to get support and help during this time, so they can make good decisions for themselves and their kids. In a civil court, the judge is not just a passive observer. They have to consider how a parent’s behavior may be viewed, especially if the parent is impaired. In a case called Nateman v. Greenbaum, the court said that it’s okay for a judge to form opinions about witnesses and their credibility, because that’s part of their job. So, judges have to be smart about figuring out the real motives and biases of the people they’re listening to in court. That’s just part of being a fair judge. If a parent is struggling with their emotions and behavior, they may need to get counseling or join a support group. Their lawyer needs to help them understand the importance of how they act in court and make sure they are prepared. The lawyer should give the parent tasks to help them understand their case and get ready for trial. This might include filling out a questionnaire about their child and keeping a diary of their involvement with the child. This can help the lawyer stay involved and in control of the case. In child custody cases, it’s important for parents to attend training courses to improve their parenting skills. The court has the authority to make decisions in the best interest of the child, even if the parents don’t agree. The court may need help from lawyers, experts, and support staff to figure out what’s best for the child. In child custody cases, the judge’s decision is really important because they get to meet and observe the parents and witnesses. Appellate courts can only step in if the judge made a really bad decision. That’s why it’s important for parents to try to work out their differences outside of court, because going to trial can be really tough on the family. It’s also important for parents to get help if they need it, so they can better take care of their kids. The attorney should warn the parent to control their behavior and act reasonably at all times, even when the other parent is being unreasonable. If both parents fight too much, the court might decide that neither parent is fit to take care of the child. This could result in the child being taken away from both parents and put into the foster care system. The goal of the court process is to encourage the parent to be the best parent they can be, not to get back at the other parent. It’s like living in a fishbowl, where everything you do can be seen by the judge. So it’s important to always act in the best interest of the child. After a divorce, it’s important for the child to have a good relationship with one parent who is stable and caring. It’s also important for the parents to get along and not involve the child in any legal stuff. The child shouldn’t be used to pass messages between the parents or for money issues. The parents need to protect the child from knowing about the divorce and court stuff. If a parent involves the child, they could get in trouble with the court. Some good books for parents to read about helping their kids through divorce are Mom’s House, Dad’s House, Why Good Parents Have Bad Kids, Growing up Divorced, and Second Chances. The use of outdated terms like “custody” and “visitation” should be avoided in legal discussions about parenting. Instead, the focus should be on shared parenting and creating a cooperative relationship between parents for the benefit of the child. Judges consider various factors, such as the parent’s involvement in the child’s daily activities and overall care, to determine the best living situation for the child. It’s important to focus on the child’s well-being and not outdated gender biases when making these decisions. The “goodness of fit” doctrine suggests that a child’s temperament can affect how they are raised by their parents. Even if a parent is not living with the child full-time, they still have the right to make decisions for the child. In Florida, the law assumes that a child should have a primary home with one parent, but there are also options for equal time with both parents. This decision is based on what is best for the child. Both parents have equal rights and responsibilities to make decisions for the child, even after they are no longer married. Being the primary residential parent carries a lot of responsibilities. You have to keep the other parent updated about the child, encourage the child to spend time with the other parent, and make decisions together. One way to do this is by having a shared calendar on both parents’ fridges, using different color highlighters for each person. You can also communicate by keeping an envelope for notes and papers to send to the other parent. It’s important to communicate in a respectful and professional way, and always let the other parent know when you’ve received their message. When making decisions about custody and visitation, it’s important to have a set schedule for communication and stick to the agenda during discussions. It’s also important to keep children out of the conversation and to make decisions in their best interest. If you need to go to court, be specific about what you’re asking for and consider consulting a mental health professional to guide your requests. Also, make sure both parents are involved in any psychological evaluations or therapy for the child. Be careful about asking for a private examination of the child in court, because it might make your client look bad. Consider getting a guardian ad litem to look out for the child’s best interests, but it’s not always necessary. If both parents are acting crazy, it might make sense to get a guardian ad litem involved. A guardian ad litem is a lawyer who looks out for the child and keeps the parents in line. Different professionals might do different interventions, like a social worker or a lawyer. If the guardian ad litem’s report seems unfair, you might want to hire a different professional to investigate. A lawyer dealing with custody battles should also know about programs and services available to help families in the area. The attorney should use the law (F.S. §61.13) to decide when to ask the court for help with problems between parents. For example, if parents can’t agree on decisions about their child, the court might give one parent final say. If one parent is causing harm, the court might give the other parent full decision-making power. If a parent doesn’t follow the law, they might not be seen as a “friendly parent.” Domestic violence is also important to consider. There are new laws (F.S. §61.13(3) (k) and (l)) that address this. When parents are in a disagreement about sharing time with their child, it’s important for their attorney to know the best ways to help them. The attorney will need to ask the court to make changes to the time-sharing schedule or make up for lost time with the child. It’s not easy for a parent to get sole custody, and they have to show that it’s best for the child. The judge needs as much information as possible to make the right decision for the child. Mediation can help parents make decisions for their family. If the parents go to trial, they have to be ready to let the court make the decisions for them. Shared parental responsibility is a law in Florida that says both parents have to work together to make decisions for their child, even if they don’t live together anymore. It’s important for parents to get help and advice so they don’t waste time and money fighting over who gets to make decisions for the child. It’s also important for the lawyer to understand and help the parents so they can make the best decisions for the child.

 

Source: https://www.floridabar.org/the-florida-bar-journal/practical-aspects-of-parenting-conflicts-preparing-parents-for-litigation/


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